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Archive for the ‘Moans’ Category

A guide to Search Engine Optimisation for clients of web design companies

January 28th, 2010 Internet, Moans, Web Design

A lot of clients who hire some designers to design & build their website will pay a third party for SEO, often too much relative to what their paying for the design and development. Here are the steps you need to follow for budgeting.

Take the number of sales you make to Search Engine’s spiders (which is 0)
Prefix it with your local currency’s symbol (for UK visitors £0)
Spend that much on SEO
Take the money you were going to spend on SEO and hire a copywriter.

Because good content is important, maybe if it was called Potential Customer Experience Optimisation (PCEO™) clients would pay silly money for it.

So, now that the snow’s melted…

January 15th, 2010 Moans, Science

…will the people who said global warming isn’t happening now admit that it’s warmer than a week ago therefore we’re all going to die (at the current rate the temperature will have increased to over 200°C by the end of the year)?

A bigger threat than terrorism and other links

October 13th, 2009 Apple, Moans, Random, Web Design

Obviously it’s lawyers, gagging The Guardian (to help you avoid working with/for, or hiring/buying from, either of the companies make a note that Trafigura are a bunch of cunts, and that Carter-Ruck are also a bunch of cunts)
Getting back to nerd stuff – a good overview of why Tog’s ideas for the Springboard weren’t great the Springboard expose video is very cool.
and the truth about PSDs, stolen from Dom

Right/Wrong

October 8th, 2009 Moans, TV

So in BBC land phoning someone and saying you fucked their granddaughter (which happened to be true) is an offence that results in 2 people losing their jobs, and 1 getting suspended.

But calling someone a Paki, like it’s the fucking 70s or something, is acceptable.

This seems odd.

Neo Old Atheist

September 29th, 2009 Moans, Science

Apparently “‘New’ Atheists” are middle class, university educated snobs. Which was a bit of a blow for me, I guess I could try and listen to uneducated people who believe in the religion their parents happened to force on them. But instead I’ve decided to label myself a Neo Old Atheist¹

On the subject of atheism Jonathan Meades: Off Kilter, especially episode 2 is half-mad, half-insane brilliance. And it’s hard for me to praise a former foodie, architecture critic.

¹ The schism between the old and new atheists is that old atheists don’t believe in a theistic god, and the new atheists don’t believe in a theistic god.

Trousers

September 22nd, 2009 Moans, Random, Short

More annoying than my iron problem why is the material that makes 99% of my trousers key-proof, but the pockets – where I keep my fucking keys, is not?

Gordon Brown is a genius

July 2nd, 2009 Moans

It seems like an odd thing to say based on how unpopular he seems to be, but with Alan Johnson being the favourite to be the next Labour leader Brown just moved him to Home Secretary. Meaning within a month he’s become and ID card defending prick. Problem solved for Brown.

Bit of a bugger for the rest of us, this was a Tory poster in 1978, when a Labour government had about 2 million unemployed.

So as soon as the Tories got in unemployment went up to 3 million, and didn’t drop below 2 million again until Labour got back into power.

Still at least Labour aren’t imploding giving the Tories and easy victory at the next election and letting them fuck over the country for 18 years, we’re not stupid enough to let history repeat itself…

More reasons fundies suck

May 27th, 2009 Moans

Leviticus 20:13
If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

OK leviticus is one of the nutty ones, you wouldn’t get anything crazy in one of the big ones…

Exodus 35:2
2Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the LORD: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death.

Oh, well that must put reverends in a bind, shouldn’t their parishioners put them too death? But these are Old Testament, the New one’s what the young people are into…

1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor practicing homosexuals nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Isn’t that nice, you don’t have to kill these types of people, but they’ll spend an eternity in hell, Cristianity – it’s a religion of peace™.

So am I a squid?

May 27th, 2009 Moans

Cormac Murphy-O’Connor, a paedophile defending, AIDS spreading¹, homophobic² lying bastard³ who wants people to die early and suffer more when doing it thinks I’m not human. For the listed reasons he can go fuck himself⁴.

¹ I’m not complaining about the idea of spending more on drugs, but condoms don’t increase AIDS
² he’s Catholic
³ see ²
⁴ actually he can’t, see ²

More Royal Mail crap

May 27th, 2009 Local News, Moans

Adam Crozier must be pissed off looking at this, if he’d closed the Whitchurch sorting office earlier he could’ve brought another ivory back-scratcher¹.

And a video of the sorting office on the last day, in a blog that refers to me as a ‘plain old local’, I’m hoping that’s a “plain old” local, rather than plain “old local”.

¹ obligatory Simpsons reference